Today I saw a cute newborn in clinic. The mom is 14 years old. Yup, got pregnant at 13. (at least she wasn't my patient prior to pregnancy, I'd feel like a failure. But she could still be my patient now.)
This mom will have an 18 year old when she's my age. I can't fully wrap my head around that. What will their lives be like?
I'm proud of my accomplishments in life. I went to college, and medical school. I've been a doctor for 5 years. I've traveled a lot. I'm supporting myself. And I met the best guy I've ever known, and married him.
Do I wish I had gotten married and already had kids over the past 5-10 years? Absolutely. I recently found a journal I kept (barely) in college and just before graduation, 10 years ago, I was so worried about finding my bashert and starting my family. It took much longer than I had ever planned! But I know I made the right decisions over the years. I'm with the person I'm *supposed* to be with, and we will have the family we are *supposed* to have.
Meanwhile, 3 months into this TTC thing, I'm frustrated. I know it's probably taken this long just for my body to adjust post OCP's, but it seems like everywhere I turn people are pregnant just by thinking about it.
It's not fair for a 13 year old to get pregnant. She probably only had sex a few times! She certainly wasn't trying, and would have chosen to NOT get pregnant if it had been a possibility (I didn't ask, but I'm guessing she didn't even have much knowledge about birth control). 18 years later, she'll be my age and maybe a grandmother already. And here I am, just praying I can get pregnant in the next few months so we can get moving on creating this family we've both always wanted.
Sigh.
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